Unacceptable Member Behavior

[eggman918]

[Russell J]

Thanks for the information Russell.

I still ship and wait for payment. A bad apple now and then will not destroy how I choose to be. We are all judged in the end.

Nicely put John! I re-read what you wrote and thought about it a few times.

The days are gone when a man's word or handshake sealed the deal.

66f250cs, I can imagine that you've probably have a lot of experiences which this idea's based on, yet I'll respectfully differ with it. Though I'm only a thirty-six years old whippersnapper, I'd like to think we hold the days in our own hands. Continuing to expect integrity when relating to others is a choice that has to have both ups and downs; 'seems to me that the ups outweigh the downs.

Why would you send something without payment?

Idaho Cowboy, 'sorry to butt in here; I know you were asking Russell. Yet since I'm also in the "ship first" camp, I figured I'd take a stab at this.

People send things without payment because they view transactions as opportunities to exercise a philosophical principle that they like. When they do this, the value they get in terms of enjoyment ought-weighs the risk of losing money, especially when dealing with amounts of money that aren't life-changing. In Russell's case, the $40 which may have been lost probably doesn't qualify as a life-changing amount--yet Russell's choice added a brick to his foundation of real, earned self-esteem. This kind of foundation comes in handy for things like falling asleep at night.

If the $40 shows up, Russell will have won--yet even if it never shows up, Russell will still have won, in a way that matters to him more than $40.

Earl Nightingale said that the basic meaning of life, is to serve; he said that our job in this life's to serve others. (And I sure have been on the receiving end of this service for years, here on FORDification--thank you.) 'seems like this is a widely agreed upon principle (at least in the West), such as Mark 9:35, "Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, 'If anyone wants to be first, he must be the last of all and the servant of all.'" One handy way to serve others is by giving to them. By sending something without payment, Russell was giving the gift of trust.

Well, another day in life's gone, but a positive mark was made on that day about his character in his own mind, because he exercised a principle that he agreed with. When we do things we agree with, it improves our integrity, or wholeness as a person; it makes us less divided. I can't remember where I read this (maybe it was more Earl Nightingale), but I came across an explanation of the word "integrity." Just as integers include only numbers like 1, 2, 3 and not fractions, integrity is the state of being whole, or undivided. The greater our integrity, the less inner conflict we feel, and the more peace of mind we experience. Forty or a hundred bucks isn't even in the same league as this kind of pay-off.

People who ship before payment know that they're going to ultimately win in the transaction; they wouldn't keep doing it if they thought they might lose. The fact that people usually do send the $40's just a bonus.

PS. Of course, there has to be a safety belt on this line of thinking; I think Robert's comments on evaluating a buyer were superb.

Thank you, Robroy for those kind words. You were able to say what my feelings are about these sort of transactions before I could properly understand them myself; let alone to even start explaining them as you did.

I guess to me, the other facet of this, albeit simplistic, is that these types of transactions are not your normal transactions. We are people with a common interest trying to help one another attain a goal. Yes, we all have our separate goals at any given time (replacing a master cylinder, chasing vacuum leaks, understanding drum brakes, etc.) but the bottom line is that we all know how it feels to be close to your goal, but you need help from someone in order to get there. This is what we do on these boards, in both word and deed. The feeling I get from helping someone reach a goal when it comes to these trucks is much greater than $40 in my hand. In addition, as I said, these transactions are not normal transactions. I could easily be the person on the other end thinking "I can send this guy cash, but will he send me the part?" Someone had told a story in this thread of this happening on Ebay to him at least once. So to me, sending the part first or sending the money first...the risk is equal. I don't see the difference.

Thanks for all the responses on this thread btw. It does give me reinforcement that the good people here on these boards VERY MUCH outweigh the dishonest.

[idaho_cowboy]

Good reading, I should even say myself

I do live by a similar principle. I leave doors unlocked, and keys in the ignition of all my vehicles. I guess I figure that I might get through my whole life without having to fight the sensation of loosing the keys! And I just might luck out. Plus, If I trust others.. perhaps I'll be trusted. One of those things.

- Joseph

[sargentrs]

Although I will have to say that my truck was stolen. Didn't leave the keys in it either although the doors were unlocked. Of course, it's never been hard to break into our trucks anyway. Fortunately, I got her back over a year later. I still don't lock my car though. If somebody wants in bad enough, they'll just break a window to do it. You can only do so much to guard yourself against theft or ripoffs. However, you can do a lot to choose how you let them affect your life attitude.