Got Some Good News!

[ford4x4fun]

Found out a few days ago that my 10 year old son wants to come live with me. My ex wife and I didn't make it through my OIF I deployment. Since than, I have only spent 4 summers with him, and only 2 birthdays. He turned two when I left for that deployment. I am just happy to get a chance to be more than just the guy that sends presents for birthdays, and the guy that gets called when he gets in trouble.

[forrestbump]

Wonderful News!!! Nothing in the world like having your kids in your life. When mine (4 of em) are with me, it brings me the greatest joy in the world!!

Sooo Happy for y'all!!

[sargentrs]

Congratulations! Chalk up another one for the "non-custodial" parents. When my 1st wife and I got divorced my youngest was 5 and my oldest was 11, both girls. They were my reason for living. My X was too interested in partying and shopping and such to be a mother so I was Mr. Mom day in a day out. They hardly ever saw her. Then she kicked me out for a younger man and I was reduced to every other weekend. She finally decided she wanted to be a mother. Devastated me and my girls. They both wanted to live me with but their mother would have none of it, for financial reasons mostly. I would have had to prove her unfit, which she wasn't, in order for me to get them. She wasn't an unfit mother, just a cold, heartless, .... but I digress. Anyway, I moved within a mile of them and took every opportunity to see them. I told them to be patient and behave and when they turned 14, the courts say it was their decision and I'd fight tooth and nail to get 'em. My oldest came to live with me when she was 14 and my youngest came when she was 15. It took years of patience for it to happen but it did, finally. Now, we're closer than ever and seems like they're always in a battle with their mother. I'm happy for you man, a long time coming!

[flyboy2610]

[Joshpow]

Cool! Happy for you. Good luck!

[STROKER69]

This is GREAT I see we have some gentlemen here that know the TRUE meaning of fathering a child, my hat is off to you all for hanging in there and caring for you kids. This is ment to be a standing ovation.

[390Nut]

Found out a few days ago that my 10 year old son wants to come live with me. My ex wife and I didn't make it through my OIF I deployment. Since than, I have only spent 4 summers with him, and only 2 birthdays. He turned two when I left for that deployment. I am just happy to get a chance to be more than just the guy that sends presents for birthdays, and the guy that gets called when he gets in trouble.

Damn good to hear! I'm hoping mine does the same, when he gets old enough!

Congratulations! Chalk up another one for the "non-custodial" parents. When my 1st wife and I got divorced my youngest was 5 and my oldest was 11, both girls. They were my reason for living. My X was too interested in partying and shopping and such to be a mother so I was Mr. Mom day in a day out. They hardly ever saw her. Then she kicked me out for a younger man and I was reduced to every other weekend. She finally decided she wanted to be a mother. Devastated me and my girls. They both wanted to live me with but their mother would have none of it, for financial reasons mostly. I would have had to prove her unfit, which she wasn't, in order for me to get them. She wasn't an unfit mother, just a cold, heartless, .... but I digress. Anyway, I moved within a mile of them and took every opportunity to see them. I told them to be patient and behave and when they turned 14, the courts say it was their decision and I'd fight tooth and nail to get 'em. My oldest came to live with me when she was 14 and my youngest came when she was 15. It took years of patience for it to happen but it did, finally. Now, we're closer than ever and seems like they're always in a battle with their mother. I'm happy for you man, a long time coming!

Yep. Kids aren't as "dumb" as their parents think they are, and can see through the BS quite well. Especially as they get older.

Keeping your head on straight and doing whats right by them is what keeps them close to you.

[BobbyFord]

That's awesome! I too have been recently "reunited" with my son. Congratulations to you.

[Mancar1]

That is great. Been there, and I am very happy for you.

[ford4x4fun]

Congratulations! Chalk up another one for the "non-custodial" parents. When my 1st wife and I got divorced my youngest was 5 and my oldest was 11, both girls. They were my reason for living. My X was too interested in partying and shopping and such to be a mother so I was Mr. Mom day in a day out. They hardly ever saw her. Then she kicked me out for a younger man and I was reduced to every other weekend. She finally decided she wanted to be a mother. Devastated me and my girls. They both wanted to live me with but their mother would have none of it, for financial reasons mostly. I would have had to prove her unfit, which she wasn't, in order for me to get them. She wasn't an unfit mother, just a cold, heartless, .... but I digress. Anyway, I moved within a mile of them and took every opportunity to see them. I told them to be patient and behave and when they turned 14, the courts say it was their decision and I'd fight tooth and nail to get 'em. My oldest came to live with me when she was 14 and my youngest came when she was 15. It took years of patience for it to happen but it did, finally. Now, we're closer than ever and seems like they're always in a battle with their mother. I'm happy for you man, a long time coming!

Your story and mine are similar in a lot of ways. I spent over 45,000 dollars fighting for custody, I had a PI, that had video of her driving over a 100mph with my son in the car, a court appointed child psychologist (that I paid for) say it would be detrimental to my sons health, multiple doctor documentation of me getting him from her with a bleeding rash over 90% of his body, and a lot more. She still ended up with custody. My son is a completely different child when he is with me. He behaves, has manners, honestly tries to be a good kid when I have him. Up with her, he has major behavioral problems, talks back, and is just a miserable child. My goal in life has always been to be a good father, and to treat both my stepson and my son the same. I never say anything bad (to him or in front of him) about his mother, and just focus on the task at hand, showing him what a family should be like. It will probably be culture shock, when he gets home from school, and we actually sit down and go through his school work, and look over his homework. And when he figures out there is more to life than sitting in front of a TV/Video Game/Computer, and eating hot dogs for every meal. I think what really did it in that helped him make his decision is that he is tired of the constant changes. Every 6 months she has fallen in love with another guy and cleaning her slate to start a new life. This is hard on the kids when each one of said guys had kids there age, so they make friends and than get torn out of them. So in the end I get to show him stability, and interest in his life. Something that I know for a fact she doesn't do.

[ford4x4fun]

That's awesome! I too have been recently "reunited" with my son. Congratulations to you.

That is good stuff BobbyFord, I can't wait... It will be nice to get home now, so I can be apart of it all!

[sargentrs]

I good to hear another guy go through the same stuff that we do and have a good result come from it. Too many times we feel like we are the only one's being persecuted and that you can't win. In my state, the courts tend to side with the mother first and the burden of proof is on the male parent. I actually adopted my oldest daughter when my x and I got married, actually, got married in order to do so. Then my 2nd daughter came along 2 years later. It was only years later that she told me the only reason she had my baby girl was because she felt like she "owed me something" for all the years I had been good to them. WTH!? Regardless of the reasons behind it, I'm grateful to her for giving me my 2 girls (and 2 granddaughters and another on the way!) and harbor no resentment. Years of taking her crap and listening to my girls cry about her and how they wanted to live with me paid off in the end. My oldest fought with her mother so much she gave her to me because "she couldn't anything with her". Unfortunately my baby girl has to attempt to OD in order to get away from her. She took a 90 Ibuprofen and then called a friend who called her mother, etc. She told me that she knew her mother would never let her go and that was all she could think of. And if she lived through it and got to come live with me, great, but if she didn't she didn't want to go on living like that anyway. MAN! Have your baby tell you something like that and see what you'll do about it. The beast was unleashed and all bets were off at that point. When my baby got out of the "behavioral modification center" she came straight to me and never went back. We went to get her stuff from her mother's house and all of it was sitting in the driveway. Every picture, baby book, toy and stitch of clothing piled up. I filled my bump to the top with her things about brought my baby home. It was 6 months before she went back to see her mother. They've patched things up now, and I'm glad for it, but my little girl don't take no crap from her mother anymore. She rears up on her hind legs and gives back as good as she gets! My oldest is a different story. She's always been a fighter. In the end, I got satisfaction. It's pretty bad when your older daughter would rather live with her adoptive stepfather and your younger tries to commit suicide to get away from you. She's gone to counseling after I got my youngest to deal with her "loss". Sorry to hog the thread.

[forrestbump]

Sorry to hog the thread.

I don't view it as hogging the thread as much as I see it as shedding light on what a lot of us have gone through because we DO know the difference between what's right and what's wrong.

Most of us just bottle this crap up inside of us as our friends, over time, get tired of hearing our story. The courts side against us because we're male and in the court's eyes, we CAN'T be good fathers? HUH? Unless you have deep pockets to fight for what's right, you just quietly go away because you can't win. Society has the view that men fool around while women stay at home nurturing their babies... NOT in my case either.

Sorry to also be hijacking, but damn this stuff brings back some bad memories. I too am thankful to FINALLY have the system see that I Love My Kids with all my heart and would do anything I have to to protect them and have them know they're Loved by their Father.

[sargentrs]

[72extendedcab]

My hat is off to all of you. I raised my daughter from 3 months to 15 years thus far by myself since drinking, drugging and sleeping around are all her mother has ever wanted to do. I don't speak badly about her mother to her either, but I don't have to, she knows the truth. (She also knows more about vehicles and welding than any of the boys around town (proud dad!)). There are just as many bad mothers as there are deadbeat fathers out there, but it is nice to know the company I have chosen to keep (yes, I mean all you bump siders) have their hearts in the right place. Good luck to us all and may our children be forever safe.